SHADY SENSUALITY: in praise of trees, spring, and Mosey Mode

Right now it’s spring in my town, and I feel like a fugitive from the musical Oklahoma! Spring is indeed bustin’ out all over. Our little dog Buddy Bear is literally chasing butterflies as well as the ever-present squirrels. He’s a fierce seven-pound backyard protector, keeping us safe from marauding, man-eating squirrels.

Robert and I will have a backyard picnic this evening. We plan to try the new Kentucky Grilled Chicken, plus sides of slaw and potato salad. Maybe I’ll make limeade—I got a big sack of limes from Sam’s Club.

I’m remembering a time, some years ago, when we still had our two cats. We decided to make love in the back yard. We brought out a quilt, some pillows, a boom box with our favorite turn-on music, a tray of nibbles, and champagne and crystal glasses. This was going to be a class affair. No stars … kind of cloudy … but nice. Turned on the music, poured the bubbly, had some fancy cheese on scalloped crackers, started making out. The cats were fascinated, walking all around and over us.

Then suddenly, BOOM! It started to pour. We’re talking fire hose rain!. We snorted champagne out our noses, frantically pulled food/wine/glasses/quilt/pillows/boom box together, pounded into the house, and laughed ourselves silly.

Did we make love? That WAS making love. We just didn’t happen to have sex.

BODY TALK: Decoding Signals from Inner Space

Suppose there was one main source of communication that was personalized for each resident in your whole town. Your phone would give a certain ring, you’d pick it up, and there would be a message just for you, an answer you needed.

What if you hadn’t asked the question? No problem. Control Central would anticipate it and provide the answer before you knew you wanted it.

Well, hallelujah! There is such a source. It’s your mind/body. Every emotion announces itself through your body.

You received amazingly informative signals when you paid attention.

Danger or alarm:

• I felt shivery, actually cold.

• I had prickles on the back of my neck.

Worry, tension:

• I felt tight across my shoulders.

• My mind kept wandering … I couldn’t concentrate. I felt overwhelmed.

Compassion, affection:

• I felt this rush of tenderness all through my body.

• Before I knew it, I was giving her a hug.

Performance anxiety:

• I had butterflies in my stomach.

• I kept thinking, “Please, Lord, let me be good this time.”

Well, OK then. Let’s look at the signals your body sends when you are sexually aroused. And remember, just as that phone knew exactly which ring was uniquely yours, so your arousal signals are personal. Different people receive them in different ways.

The sensation of being turned on: your body’s own encoding might be:

I feel a throbbing in my pelvis, almost a pounding. I know it’s because my blood has rushed to make me hard.

I get a kind of tickle, almost like I need to scratch it, but I know that is NOT what will relieve it. And I get really wet and hot.

My whole genital area pulses in a certain way, and I know I’m about to come.

I feel a warm tingle and my whole crotch feels full, like I have a golf ball down there, but it feels SO GOOD.

It’s like a miniature tsunami is coming at me, and when it breaks over me, I feel like I’m being shot into outer space.

My dick stands straight up! How’s that for a reliable signal?

And here’s a very VERY important signal to decode accurately:

I’ve learned that there is a difference between being horny and in love, and I have to keep my brain on full alert, or I’ll start telling myself they’re the same thing.

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